My life these past 37 years has been quite the roller coaster ride. I’ve had many ups and downs, good times and bad times, happy times and sad times. I’ve made great decisions and poor choices, had many successes and failures, and lots of dreams and regrets. But when I think of my life as a book that has already been written, I’m even more moved. It makes me wonder how I can ever despair or question God, how I can ever lose my trust that He will answer my prayers, how I can ever fear or worry. If God knows me by name, if He knows me by touch, if He knows the number of days ordained for me on this earth, if He wrote the book of my life and knows what will happen on all future pages, if He can see around corners and over hills and knows what’s coming……..what is there ever to fear?
Yet, I do sometimes, and He knows it. I fear and worry and cry out and question…..and He understands because He knit my personality in just this way. He gave me a questioning mind, an emotional heart, a cautious spirit. And He’s not finished with me yet.
He’s still sculpting, still editing, still knitting….and when I let Him mold me in that special way, when I succumb to His loving, skillful, strong, and sometimes harsh fingers, I become more like His image. I begin to take on the features of my Creator, the one who knows me by name, the one who took on human flesh because something had to be done about my sins. Someone’s blood had to be shed. Someone had to die. I was that precious to Him.
On Easter Sunday, think about what God is doing in your life, and remember that He made all things possible through His Son who willingly died a most gruesome death for you, for me, for us. Each of us has decided our course in life by the free will God gave us, but the Lord knows each and every step. He truly sees what is in my heart, and everything about me. He knows when I sit and when I get out of bed in the morning. He knows what I’m thinking every second of the day. He knows when I go to work and when I come home. He knows exactly how I live. Even before a word is on my tongue, He knows all about it. He is all around me – behind, in front, and on the side. I’m amazed at how well He knows me! It’s more than I’ll ever understand.
While I am here on earth, I am both a work in progress and already made whole because of the cross. I am a child of the risen King who will wrestle with the flesh. I’ll win some and lose some, but it can never change how Christ sees me because the cross was enough. Even through my fears and doubts, I rest in the fact that Christ remains in me. I am living proof that He can carry you through anything. And if this is the journey I had to take to truly know Jesus and understand who I am because of His grace, then I wouldn’t change a thing.
He makes no mistakes. He has no regrets. He is never surprised. I am thankful that I am a child of the one true King, Jesus Christ.